Growing from adversity, accepting slow, steady progress, and building genuine relationships (ft. Chloe Chen)
Hi everyone! I am so happy to be back again 😊 In today’s episode, we talk about how to grow without giving yourself pressure to become the best version of yourself right now. We also shared our views on multiple aspects of relationship and self-love.
The full podcast can be found on Spotify, Anchor, and Google Podcasts! All you need to do is search up “Pretty Little Joys”!
Here’s the link to our podcast! Enjoy:)
Part One. Self-Reflection and Self Growth: It’s okay if progress comes slow + accepting our difficult emotions
Alice: I realized recently that self-reflection is really important because it is a process that allows me to grow and learn more about myself. However, at the same time, I believe that we shouldn’t feel the need to be the most perfect version of ourselves now.
Chloe: Yes, and I will admit that I tend to have a tendency to cling on to a problem until I find a solution for it, which makes it hard for me to work when I have a major problem in my life, so that is definitely something I am working on.
Alice: For me, what has helped me was to recognize that it’s okay if progress comes slow, because I am trying, and if I keep putting effort into it, I know that I will be able to find a solution.
Chloe: You can also think of emotions as a symptom for what is going on in your life, similar to how back pain could be a symptom for a weak core. So, when a difficult emotion arises inside of you, you can tell yourself “whatever I am feeling is okay, I can figure out what is causing it, and find a solution to it.”
Part Two. Seeing the good and potential to grow in challenges you face
Chloe: I also like to reflect on what I have learned, overcome, and achieved, especially when I come back home from college. My freshman year was tough, but I learned many things that in turn, made my sophomore year better. The experience taught me that I can grow from adverse experiences.
Alice: One question that I try to ask myself whenever I am in a lower part of my life is: “what can I learn, right now, from this challenge?” because the only way, really, to get out of a difficult situation, is to overcome it.
Also, when you are faced with an adversity, it actually pushes you to grow pretty exponentially, because there is a need to. There is a need to overcome the challenge, which is a pretty strong force.
Part Three. Importance of Self-Love in relationships + how to build genuine relationships
Chloe: I think what you can offer yourself is what you can offer to someone else. If you treat yourself with respect, kindness, and love, it is very likely that you will be able to offer that to your partner.
(note: When you don’t have that, it is not to say that your relationship wouldn’t work out, there just has to be more communication, and when that communication of what you are lacking—such as what is going on in your own life, what past traumas you have — is not made clear to your partner, it can cause problems in a relationship).
I also think it is okay if you leave a relationship that you don’t think would work out. On the other hand, when you meet someone that you feel a strong connection with, it is okay to go for it despite knowing you or the other person might get hurt, because what you really can do is to try your best to be honest, but if it doesn’t work out, at least you both learned something.
Chloe: I’ve also heard people wanting to have more power over their partners, but I feel that when one focuses on having more control, they are not really enjoying the relationship or building a genuine connection.
Chloe: It is common and easy for people to want to play “hard to get”, but it may not be the most mature way of building a genuine connection. It could be easy to attract a partner this way early on, but you risk presenting yourself not as who you are, but as who you think they want you to be.
Part Four. Give yourself credit for your accomplishments (no matter how big or small you think they are!)
Chloe: Give yourself credit for what you have done in your life, tell yourself: “I’m here right now and look at what I’ve already done” Even if it’s minimal, who cares! Don’t compare yourself to other people’s achievements, pat yourself on the back, give yourself a hug, both figuratively and literally, and I think that would really give you a boost of happiness energy to move forward.
- Alice: I always felt like I could be doing more, and that made it hard for me to give myself credit, but I think it’s important to realize that you are in the direction of achieving what you want, and every step is an important step.
