Saying no to self criticism

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In “Snow White”, the Queen’s Evil mirror tells the Queen that she is not the “fairest” in the kingdom. Hearing this, jealousy and pain consumes her. 

In the 21st century, we too, carry Evil Mirrors. Although they certainly don’t have to impact us negatively, social media can become a venue for comparison and lead to feelings of inadequacy. With our devices right at our fingertips, it is easy to get caught up in the cycle of comparing our friendships, lives, appearance, and many more, to others.

According to a study by the United Kingdom Disability Charity Scope, of 1500 Facebook and Twitter users surveyed, 60 percent reported feelings of jealousy from comparing themselves to other users. Research published from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons stated that there has been a rise in teen plastic surgery, from almost 0% of surgeries less than two decades ago to nearly 4% in the US today. Part of this has been attributed to the effects that media have on our self perception in terms of whether or not we fit in society’s beauty standards.

With this, it is obvious that unhealthy comparisons can lead us to doubt our self worth. Thus, it's important to change our habits and thought processes so that we can develop a better relationship with ourselves.

One advice that I will recommend to each and every single one of you reading this is: be gentle to yourself. This is a practice that we here at Pretty Little Joys firmly believe in and repeatedly emphasize because it really makes such a difference. Before you give in to self criticism, ask yourself, “what would you say to a loved one facing a similar situation?” If they doubted yourself, would you tell them to believe in that or to believe in themselves? Yes, you probably know the answer to that question. It’s the latter. So do this to yourself too! It’s not always easy to change your thought pattern, but really, you deserve the same love you give to your loved ones.

Another quick and easy way to approach this problem when you feel that social media is doing you more harm than good, however, is also to simply delete or deactivate it from your phone! There’s no shame in cutting off what’s affecting your happiness.

Trust me, it helps so so much !


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Interview with Jessica Murnane: Maintaining a Positive Relationship with Yourself and Others

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Taking “adulting” slow in your 20s