the importance of expressing yourself + how you can start
written by: Mariel Bumanglag ; illustration by astoldbybrey
For a long time, I neglected my emotions and I often failed to express them at all.
As a child, I’d hold on tightly to newly-bought diaries and without even finishing a page, I’d leave it to collect dust. When I watched my classmates draw and paint, I figured that I could do the same, but once I found that it didn’t turn out like a Pacita Abad painting, I let that go as well.
I didn’t always write but when I was 10, my Lola (grandma) died. The next day, I returned to school and the teachers would rush hurriedly to me, rest their hand on my shoulder, and ask if I was doing okay. My response was always a simple nod. I can’t remember crying and I never talked about it to my mom or dad.
It wasn’t until the following year that my class was given an assignment to write about an important event in your life. My mind immediately made its way back to the memory of Lola. We spent weeks crafting our stories and once I finished my beautiful, 5-paged narrative, I felt better. There were my emotions, my words magnifying small details, all put on a page.
Ever since then, I’d turn to a blank page or an empty document to express my feelings.
Spilling words out onto a page helps me express feelings of anxiousness and emptiness. The click-clack of my computer keys allow me to navigate new places and unwanted or confusing emotions. Dousing a document with words is one of the things that doesn’t trouble me. Writing gives me a space to take tangled webs of words and weave it into a tapestry. (It’s not always a pretty tapestry).
If my stomach feels so knotted that I can’t open my eyes, I write. When everything comes rushing at me at once and I feel helpless to a mountain of tasks, you’ll find me typing away. While I worry if I’m good enough or if I’m ready for the future, I always find a way to write.
What You Can Do to Express Your Feelings
Talk to someone: While it is not easy at all to speak about your difficulties, releasing your emotions can lift a weight off your heart. You can start by explaining your situation and emotions you feel. Whether it is fear, sadness, or disappointment, try to let the other person understand your circumstance. Remember you are not alone in the process of healing.
Let it out: Whether it’s happiness or sadness, humans have been blessed with the gift of expression. We can laugh, smile, sigh, cry. Sometimes we might feel the need to suppress our emotions, but when you’re feeling overwhelmed, allowing yourself to let it out can release pressure building up within you.
Do art! You can pick up a paint brush, crayon, colored pencil, anything! Even if it isn’t your best, letting yourself follow a pencil on paper allows you to visualize your ideas and worries.
Listen to music! I cannot stress enough how much music has helped me through cloud-filled hard times and been a wonderful addition through bright mornings. It can help you melt into your mattress and feel your feelings. Maybe you’ll find your anger floating away as you sing at the top of your lungs.
Write! If you’re anything like me, writing is an awesome outlet to organize your thoughts. Whether it’s through writing a letter to yourself or listing down your concerns, being able to visualize your thoughts can help you figure out how to tackle it. You can also consider talking to someone IF you get lost in this process.
A Few Things to Remember
If it’s hard for you to talk about your feelings, you don’t have to. You have an infinite amount of activities to pour your heart into, not just the few I listed. You can show your feelings in non-verbal ways too.
If you’re not used to talking about your feelings or expressing them, it’s okay if it’s odd to you at first. You can try out origami, baking, rollerblading, dancing, or any other activity, and see what works for you!
Creativity-oriented activities aren’t the only ways to show emotions! Not everyone wants to be the next Van Gogh or The Beatles, it’s okay if you’re not constantly churning new ideas in your brain.
Whatever works for you is good enough! Everyone expresses themselves and their emotions in different ways. If you find that woodworking is your thing, go with it! Whatever helps you is what you should stick to.
